In Time

In three hours, I have to wake up and begin the drive down to Duke, where I’ll start my sophomore year of college. In a way, I don’t remember what college is like - I recall vague pieces, like walking into friends’ rooms at 4 AM and seeing that everyone is still awake, or cooking eggs while I anxiously look at the smoke blowing around the room, hoping the fire alarm doesn’t go off. But in the real sense, I don’t remember it at all. 

I forget the physical trauma that comes with finishing a problem set at 5 AM, or the feeling of frustration associated with not being able to find a quiet spot in Perkins. In the abstract sense, I know these things suck, but their depth doesn’t really strike me anymore.

It’s awfully scary how time changes things. While cleaning out my backpack today, I came across my blue, paint-stained Duke-UNC game wristband and it brought me back for a second to what my life was like in that moment. Mid March, right before winter break. I think that was one of my highest points of the year. I remember sitting on a Megabus about to embark on a spring break trip with friends from Duke, having just recently washed off blue paint coming off of a win over UNC. And this obnoxiously large black man sat next to me, but I looked out the window and thought damn, my school is fucking great. I had so, so much to look forward to in that moment, so much to appreciate - my life at that time was pretty much the equivalent of a house song the few seconds before the bass drops. In a way, the anticipation is the best part.

I didn’t really get to say formal goodbyes to any of my friends back home. My one friend had a barbecue yesterday, and as I left his house at 3AM we said bye, and he closed the door just like it was any other day. My other friend drove me home, and I asked if I would see him again, and he said maybe, so we said “peace” and that was it. I didn’t see him today, either. I also watched another friend run into her house at midnight, following some sort of curfew she has.

In a way, it saddens me that the last time I’m seeing some of my best friends for a few months was so casual and nonchalant. But in other ways, it doesn’t upset me at all. I can casually peace out from these friends, or watch their doors close in my faces because I know that some people are bound to you. There’s no need to grab them and pull them in for a hug, or even mention the fact that it’ll be X months until we see each other again, because god, why does it matter? It’s going to happen, and we can play ball, play brawl, and get 2 AM McDonald’s all over again.

Until then, bruhs. Peas.


I’m not sure what I’m expecting, but I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

good things take time



(Source: the-mathematical-poet, via shaanthi)

You make lists in your head about what you want in a lover, like brown hair and a sweet voice. A sharp mind and a soft heart, a sense of humor that actually makes you laugh like you mean it. This and that. And it’s all bullshit. Because people aren’t lists. And I’ve always wanted to be the person who made someone realize that. I want to come across someone with a list in their head that is nothing like the person I am, and I want to show them what they didn’t even know they were looking for. People who think they know what they want are fooling themselves. Nobody really knows what or who they want. Not until it’s right in front of them.

- Marianna Paige (x)

(Source: quotethat)



So I’m part of the Duke Cru facebook group because…experimentation, and I came across this comment:

"Here’s something I wish I could have done and would recommend to incoming freshmen: 

Take an index card on the first day of college and write down a few core values, character traits you want to espouse, goals you have, or roles you want to become. Pu
t it in a place you’ll see it every day so they’ll often be on the mind, it’s always good to have it in writing too. At the beginning of the day, ask “How can I move towards this today?” and at the end of the day, ask yourself “How did I do?” I would guess that this exercise would have given me a little more direction early on, and keeps you from getting too far from where you want to be”

Something to keep in mind, especially for incoming freshmen! I think I’ll do it, also. college is a challenging time, and it’s good to have an idea of who i want to be.


I’m gonna fucking destroy this upcoming school year.



Famous Quotes That Have a Completely Different Meaning When Said by a Different Person [via]

Previously: Fitness Quotes Over Pictures of People Drinking

Anne frank omg

(via creatingaquietmind)


  • Me: Well. do you know what a tool is, Hao?
  • Hao: it is someone who is really helpful
  • Me: errr..
  • Hao: I was called one throughout high school
  • Hao: trust me
  • Hao: I'm right

and the insomnia hits

To chronicle today, my family took a ferry out of main Toronto and headed to Wards Island, a tiny little island just across the river. Although I needed to pee the whole time, I couldn’t help but snap photos the whole time. I was pretty much reduced to a girl in a clothing store, because I couldn’t stop saying “this is so cute I can’t handle it” - the island is so FUCKING cute. 

Everyone who lives on the island bikes around, and there are no cars. The houses are all really tiny, but you can tell they’re really cozy and I just, I don’t know, I would love to live in one. They were all so uniquely colored/decorated and I just got the sense that each house was shaped to the residents’ personalities. Some were pretty large and almost reminiscent of houses in New York, while others were brightly colored with a decent amount of age. I took pictures of so many houses, and one house even built a treehouse on its front lawn. 

I really really want to live in one, or buy one in the future as some sort of vacation home because, god, this island was everything I want in life. There was so much green everywhere, but you could just look across the water and see the city’s landscape in the distance. There were flowers and cute houses everywhere, and I honestly could see myself living in one of those houses gardening or something. Added to my wish list. 

Oh, and I also took a cutesy photo of my parents.